I was 17 in my dorm room at university, overjoyed at the complete freedom that I now had over my life and where it was headed. I opened up a Word document and wrote a list of things I wanted to do before I turned 30. This “30 before 30” list included things a teenager would obviously think of. I never really had the chance to explore who I was up to that point, so it obviously included things like “hold hands with someone” and “kiss a girl!” But it also included dreams that I never thought would come true. One of them was to go to Macchu Picchu by hiking the Inca Trail. That was one of the many things that made that trip to Peru so special.

COVID-19 made completing that list incredibly challenging, and I did not get to go to my dream grand total of 30 concerts or travel to 30 countries, but I was determined to go to Jordan to see Petra. Booking this trip meant I got to sneak it in exactly 1 day before turning 30! So when I couldn’t find anyone who was willing to join me at short notice, particularly with the conflicts surrounding Jordan in the Middle East, I made the decision to go solo. This was my first time traveling on my own outside of Europe with a small Intrepid group. I grew up in the Middle East and my memories were not entirely positive, sadly. I grew up queer and was taught how gay people should be thrown off mountain tops and stoned on the way down. Pages were ripped out of textbooks that had any mention of homosexuality. But I was determined to go back on my terms to enjoy the beauties that the Middle East had to offer regardless of the pain it reminded me of.

I am glad I went. Petra was stunning. It is a sprawling Nabatean city carved into the surrounding sandstone mountains. The Nabateans were a fiercely independent group of Arab traders. They amassed incredible wealth and managed the Roman presence in the region by remaining allies until they were annexed by the Roman Empire under emperor Trajan in 1 AD.

To enter the site, you must walk through a 1.2 kilometre gorge that engulfs you with its soaring cliffs. It formed a natural protective route into the city and with its numerous vantage points, I believe the city to be practically impenetrable with ancient warfare technology.

I recall a friend from university showing images of Petra and being stunned by them. I tend to be cautious at comparing images to real-life experience. For example, Rainbow Mountain in Peru does not look the same as the Instagram pictures, as people use filters to bring out the colours. Petra’s treasury (and monastery) were more beautiful than videos or images could demonstrate. The gorge winds its way to the Treasury (Al-Khazneh). You get glimpses of it prior to entering the square where you can actually appreciate its true size.

I do see why the Monastery (Ad-Deir) does not featured as often on the Wonders of the World pictures. To reach it, you must ascend 950 steps or hop on a donkey as it navigates the precipitous drops. You must wonder if that is safe (!) and you can clearly see that the donkeys are not well treated, with many unfortunately appearing dishevelled and ulcerated. The monastery was worth it, however, looming larger than the Treasury did. It is a marvel that people in the mid 1st century AD were able to carve this out of sandstone, where architectural mistakes were harshly punished and I imagine incredibly challenging (if not impossible) to undo.

Although on reflection Petra was certainly the highlight of the trip, Wadi Rum was other-worldly. Its Martian landscapes were arid and unwelcoming and you could not walk without drowning your shoes in sand. It finds a way to get into every nook and crevice. After returning to the UK, I somehow found it had snuck into my toothpaste and face wash. I guess it’s a form of exfoliation?

The sandstone was surprisingly solid to scramble across. It always appeared to be brittle and soft in comparison to the limestone you come across often in the UK. It was fun to clamber up small boulders to find vantage points to watch the sunset from. I tried to take an opportunity one morning to meditate from the top – it was completely silent apart from a little bit of rustling from the campsite and I felt grateful for that chance to enjoy what natural beauty this world has to offer.

At night, we had a star-gazing session with a Bedouin who was experienced in desert survival. I finally have a bit more of an understanding on how to locate the North Star (in case I ever get lost without the trappings of modern technology, I guess)! Every time I left my tent at night, the skies were filled with the dots of stars, the best view of the stars I’ve ever had. I loved having the chance to sit in the still darkness and watch them, comets streaking along the sky regularly.

Before leaving, I took a trip to Jerash alone, which contains some of the best-preserved Roman ruins in the world. I love walking along these ruins trying to imagine the colonnades supporting wooden roofs protecting the bustling stores along the main road. Robed men would have dodged carts filled to the brim with wares from across the Levant to restock merchants’ stores. Going into the Oval Forum, I tried to imagine the honour someone must have felt to finally arrive at Zeus’ Temple to pay honour to the mercurial god of thunder.

Flying back, I reflected on what makes a trip special. I don’t regret taking an Intrepid trip, but I know I would have enjoyed it most with someone I truly cared about. I suspect in places where I feel more confident traveling to as a solo female traveller, I would prefer to go completely solo as opposed to a group, as you never know who you get lumped in with, and I did not vibe as well with this group compared to the one I did in Peru. But I have no regrets and I saw some of the most beautiful sites I’ve ever seen. I can’t wait to come back one day with loved ones to share the joys I experienced.

To send you all off, I want you all to know who the real #boss of Jordan is. He says goodbye – till next time.